Faithful Mommy

It’s been a crazy long time since I’ve written a blog entry. It’s also been a crazy time in general.    The past couple of months have been an absolute whirlwind, yet I have no idea why... and somehow I’ve stumbled upon November. Wasn’t it just July?  July was maybe the last time I truly felt like myself for an extended period of time. Since then, I’ve struggled. I had gotten pretty low and was basically existing between naps (long ones). I have been dealing with a mixture of some delayed grief that I had finally allowed myself to feel, PMDD symptoms (Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder), and the typical    affective changes with the changing of seasons. I’ve felt like a horrible wife, mother, and person in general. I allowed Satan’s lies to tell me over and over again that everyone else I know is such a better wife and mother than me. Then I allowed myself a lot of pity parties along the way. And in the meantime, I neglected my time with God so I wasn’t arming myself or recei

I pray daily. Multiple times per day even. I make sure and thank God for my many blessings. I let him know everything that I’m sorry about or feeling convicted about. I pray for myself, for my family and friends, strangers, my pastors, my community, my country and countless other things. I even pray for others to come to know Christ. I ask God to guide me, show me, and tell me what to do in various situations or circumstances. I ask Him to speak to me. Sounds like a great prayer life, right? On the surface, sure! I’ve noticed two problems recently, though: 1. I rarely, if ever, pray for God’s will. And 2. I often forget prayer is a two-way conversation and even though I’ve asked God to speak, I forget to listen for Him to do so.  How often do we say “amen” and not even bother to sit and listen to God’s reply? I’m so convicted of this! God has a lot to say to us whether through His word or directly. Yes, I do believe God still speaks directly to us as groups and individuals,

Lately, I’ve been kind of stagnant in my prayer life, burnt out on worship, and just worn down spiritually. Though I’m not able to pinpoint the reason(s) why I feel this way, I recognize that this happens from time to time. Anyone else? Maybe you’re feeling guilty about a particular sin that has a stronghold on you. Maybe you’re going through a tough season where everything is just overwhelming. Maybe you’re a tad angry with God or with others. Whatever the reason may be, when we experience times like this, it is us who puts the distance between us and God. Not the other way around. What I’ve found is that, every once in awhile, I need a sort of reset with God. Through these times, even if I feel like I’m just going through the motions, it’s important to just keep going. To keep praying. To keep reading His word. To be persistent in seeking Him. I am, for the millionth time probably, praying for a renewed spirit. To get back on track in my relationship with God. I will pray t

We can do hard things. My seven year old daughter attends a small, close-knit private elementary school. Truly, the students, teachers, parents and administrators are like one big family. When one member of the “family” hurts, we all hurt. A couple of weeks ago, a member of the “family” was killed in a car accident. Her son has been in my daughter’s class since Kindergarten and they’ve become quite good friends. They started second grade together just a few days ago. Not only was Megan a wife and mother, she was ever present at the school and very involved in the community. She loved Jesus and that was clear by the way she loved on others. She had a motto that she used to encourage herself and others: We can do hard things. As our entire community has been grieving the loss of Megan, we’ve all thought a lot about these words. We’ve clung to them and we’ve repeated them many times over. I know I have. She was so very right. We can do hard things. In fact, we must do hard thing

"In all your ways, submit to Him and He will make your paths straight." --Proverbs 3:6 At the beginning of June, my husband (Brian) and I went on a vacation. Just the two of us. It was the first time since our honeymoon that we'd been on the beach without our kids. I love family vacations, but there is something about being able to just be still and not have to focus on much of anything. Last year was such a tough year in watching my dad's battle with stomach cancer and then ultimately losing him last July. This vacation was the first time I've truly been able to face my own grief without having someone else to care for. Grief had gotten my attention. Fortunately, God was also able to get my attention. Not that I hadn't been focusing on God much, but I had realized that up until the point of our vacation, I'd struggled to truly hear God. My mind had been so focused on the million other things also going on in my life and in the lives of those

 “Then people brought little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked them. Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” When he had placed his hands on them, he went on from there.” -Matthew 19:13-15 Friends, the single most important thing we can do for our children is take them to Jesus. And how do we do that? We take them to church. We take them to Vacation Bible School. We take them with us to serve people and share God’s love. We talk to them about Jesus’ gift of salvation and encourage them to seek a personal relationship with Jesus.  Sometimes as adults we make the decision to skip church here and there (or several weeks in a row...guilty over here 🙋🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️) because we are tired or we feel the kids didn’t get enough rest or we have a busy day ahead of us. Or maybe we are the family who has kids involved in so many s

For the last several days I have been absolutely exhausted, anxious, and just completely on edge. I’ve been snappy and just downright moody. My husband and my kids have taken the brunt of my crazy emotions and my grieving heart. My six year old has an attitude that rivals my own at that age...argumentative, a little back-talky, and often times intentionally pressing buttons. So, she’s naturally been dishing it all right back to me this week.  I’ve spent so much time this week correcting her for the same things I was doing. It’s definitely like dealing with a miniature version of myself, which if I’m honest, kind of makes me chuckle sometimes. As I am correcting her for grumbling, whining, and complaining, I hear God saying to me “and you’re not?!”  My daughter has been wanting to plan a day where our family can get together with her best friend’s family and go do something fun. I’ve been saying “we will see” mostly because of her behavior. Eventually, as discipline, I took awa

Grief is so weird. Sometimes it is calm and steady and other times it’s like a rip current. Grief is always there. You don’t stop grieving...you just learn to build your life around it. It becomes a part of who you are. Forever changed and different. Not all of the changes are bad, just different. This past year has gone both quickly and slowly. It’s been gut-wrenching and it’s been happy. I’ve been the weakest and strongest I’ve ever been. I’ve felt isolated and I’ve felt loved. I’ve been both angry with God and comforted by Him. I’ve learned a lot about God, Heaven, myself, and family and friends I love dearly. In the most heartbreaking circumstance of my life, when my trust in God felt betrayed, I somehow came out of it all trusting God more than I ever have before. The moments where I most doubted His goodness led me to a place where I am 100% sure of God’s goodness. The moments that shattered my faith brought me to the strongest faith I’ve ever had. God has used the worst t

We all experience some sort of situational anxiety in our lives. We may fear speaking in front of a crowd, flying on an airplane, being in a social situation, or riding a rollercoaster. Our palms are sweaty, heart is racing, and we may nervously fidget with our clothes or hair. Once the experience is over, we feel immediate relief and can usually move along with the rest of our day. We might even feel a sense of   pride in ourselves for going through something so scary. Can you relate? Many of us, though, experience intense worry seemingly all the time and about nothing in particular or about everything in the universe and all things in between.   Excessive worry is something I’ve struggled with my entire life. I’m a self-proclaimed worrier. When there is nothing to worry about, I worry that I’ve forgotten to worry about something. I worry about my worries. You name it, I’ve worried about it at some point I’m sure. We fear uncertainty and things we cannot control. We all

nytimes Movie: Bad Moms                               What makes us mothers? Are we mothers because we brought little humans into the world? Literally speaking, yes. What does it mean to actually mother our kids, though? To mother, by definition, is to bring up a child with care and affection. Isn’t that what we all want for our children…that they feel loved and cared for? Yet, for many of us, in this age of social media and comparisons, we’ve sort of made motherhood into some sort of competition or at the very least a large motherhood clique in which we judge our friends and strangers based on their parenting choices. Who wins at momming?                 I don’t know about you, but for me, being a mom is hard enough without all the comparing myself to others and dealing with mom shaming. You’ve been there; I have, too. I’d go so far as to say that all of us moms have not only been victims of mom shaming (directly or indirectly), but we’ve been the perpetrators at some po

"Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." --Deuteronomy 11:18-19 My daughters are six and two. My oldest is pretty much like a tiny teenager and my youngest is what happens when a tiny T-Rex crosses paths with a tornado. I love love love my girls, but raising little women is the toughest task I've ever been given. Many days I feel like all I do is correct and discipline. I often sing to my girls (only half joking) "Y'all gon' make me lose my mind up in here...up in here." They pretty much know the entire song by now (oops!).  Lately, I've felt convicted by the verses above (Deuteronomy 11:18-19). I've been so busy building my expectations of my daughters up so high while lowering my expectations of myself. I've

Hi all! I'm Ashley! I'm a Daughter of the King of Kings, a wife to my amazing husband Brian who is a Psychiarist, and a mother to our two girls, Scarlett (6) and Isla (2). Though I'm a mental health therapist by training, God has steered me towards my true calling...full time wife and mommy and Christian Blogger/Writer. My family and I have settled down in Bowling Green, Kentucky. We absolutely love this town. I grew up as an only child in the small town of Shelbyville, Kentucky. My childhood was the absolute BEST thanks to my parents, extended family, and friends. God sure knew what He was doing when he gave me my people.  I'm my Daddy's daughter for sure. He taught me so much about faith in God, walking with Jesus, and just how to be a good and loving person. My heart was shattered last year (July 2018) when my Daddy was called Home to Jesus after a four month battle with Stomach Cancer. So much of him lives within me and I am already seeing parts of