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Training Up A Child


"Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." --Deuteronomy 11:18-19



My daughters are six and two. My oldest is pretty much like a tiny teenager and my youngest is what happens when a tiny T-Rex crosses paths with a tornado. I love love love my girls, but raising little women is the toughest task I've ever been given. Many days I feel like all I do is correct and discipline. I often sing to my girls (only half joking) "Y'all gon' make me lose my mind up in here...up in here." They pretty much know the entire song by now (oops!). 


Lately, I've felt convicted by the verses above (Deuteronomy 11:18-19). I've been so busy building my expectations of my daughters up so high while lowering my expectations of myself. I've found myself getting frustrated with my kids for not putting their toys where they go, while I leave my books, journals, etc. just piled in random places throughout the house...telling myself I will put them away later. I discipline for snappy remarks from my six year old, while I'm dishing out the same kind of remarks under stress. I want my two year old to learn to calm herself in the midst of chaos, yet I'm totally freaking out during chaotic times. You get the picture. I'm not "practicing what I'm preaching." 



And my girls notice.



Just yesterday, I found myself telling my oldest "if you'll just be patient for two minutes then I will be able to help you" while she was needing help fixing a snack for herself. She (as stubborn as her momma, honestly) went ahead and did it herself and in the middle of doing so spilled Goldfish crackers all over the floor. She became upset and frustrated and I became irritated with her for not listening. In that moment, I was stopped in my tracks with a nudge from God. He said to me, "Daughter, how many times have I told you to be patient, yet you went ahead without me?" Ouch! Touche, Jesus, Touche!



Am I truly teaching my children to follow Jesus? How can I expect them to be obedient to me if I'm not showing how I am obedient to God? Am I even showing them how to obey? How can I expect immediate obedience to me when I delay in my obedience to God? In Deuteronomy 11:18-19, the focus is first on the parent. In order to teach my children to love God and love people, don't I need to demonstrate the words God has written on my heart (what He has taught me)?



There are so many things that my children need to see me doing before I am able to tell them to do it. I'm reminded of another verse in the Bible: "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." --Proverbs 22:6. "Training" requires more than teaching my children about the Bible and about God. Do I want to teach them to love others? Then I'd better let them see me serving Jesus and people. Do I want them to have a passion for Jesus? Then I'd better let them see me reading my Bible, praying without ceasing, worshipping God, and sharing the Gospel with others. Do I want them to have faith and trust in God? Then I had better put my faith in action for them to see. THIS is the kind of "training" my kids need. In this way, they will experience more of who God is rather than simply know about God and Bible stories.



Sister, let's partner with the Holy Spirit to "train up our children." Let's not expect ourselves to be perfect mothers or perfect servants of the LORD, but let's do our best to train our children to walk in faith and obedience, to love others the way He does, and to cultivate a relationship with Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. Everything else will fall into place, Momma. And along the way, God continues to train us Mommas in the way that we should go.










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