It’s been a crazy long time since I’ve written a blog entry. It’s also been a crazy time in general. The past couple of months have been an absolute whirlwind, yet I have no idea why... and somehow I’ve stumbled upon November. Wasn’t it just July?
July was maybe the last time I truly felt like myself for an extended period of time. Since then, I’ve struggled. I had gotten pretty low and was basically existing between naps (long ones). I have been dealing with a mixture of some delayed grief that I had finally allowed myself to feel, PMDD symptoms (Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder), and the typical affective changes with the changing of seasons. I’ve felt like a horrible wife, mother, and person in general. I allowed Satan’s lies to tell me over and over again that everyone else I know is such a better wife and mother than me. Then I allowed myself a lot of pity parties along the way. And in the meantime, I neglected my time with God so I wasn’t arming myself or receiving any truth. Each day was a struggle.
I have never really been open with anyone except for my husband about this, and I honestly don’t know why I’m sharing now other than I think maybe someone out there can relate. That maybe someone reading this needs to see the light in their own struggle.
On social media, us mommas especially, like to pretend we have it all together. Truthfully, none of us do. So why don’t we share the crazy, sticky, messy side of parenting? Why don’t we share the struggles we face with maintaining an identity outside of our spouse and children? Let’s be real...it’s hard sometimes. A lot of the time. It can wear on us mentally if we aren’t careful. Part of that wearing, though, is trying to pretend like we are ok...that parenting is always happy and fun and lovey...that marriage is always a breeze and we’re always perfectly getting along with our spouse.
We all know raising kids is hard. Maybe the hardest job in the world. So why do we share the perfect family photos and not the behind the scenes stuff that went into making the perfect photo? Recently, our family had Christmas photos taken as we do each year. This year’s theme was Christmas in Chaos. Pretty fitting for our family really. During the photos my kids did exactly the two things I told them not to do...eat the food during the photo session and not listen to the photographers. So, in many of the photos my 7 year old has her mouth stuffed full of cookies. And at one point my 7 year old was beating my husband and me in the head with a roll of wrapping paper. It hurt. The 3 year old was running amuck. Yelling ensued. A lot of it. Momma was livid. Yet, when we got the photo proof from that scene, it’s so real life that I had to order. One side of the Christmas card is that perfect family photo. The other side? Pure real chaos.
Mommas, we have to give ourselves a break. First and foremost we need to feed our souls with biblical truths. We are so valuable to God. He handpicked us to raise His children...in particular the ones He chose to give to us as a gift. It’s no accident. God thought you’d be the best Momma for them. We have to put on the full armor of God each and every day and use scripture as our weapon to defend against Satan’s lies. When Satan tempted Jesus with his lies, Jesus fought back by quoting scripture and after three times Satan eventually fled.
Second, we have got to stop comparing ourselves to others. Realize we all struggle with something and our kids all struggle with something. My 7 year old was recently diagnosed with psoriasis which is a lifelong autoimmune disorder. At first I was pretty angry about it. Why her? But then I thought, why not her? And would I trade her illness for another child’s illness?No. God has allowed this for her and this is one of her struggles. Another child battles diabetes...another battles cancer...another is deaf or blind. I am thankful for our own struggle. And how I react to the battle sets an example for how my girls will wage war in theirs.
Third, let’s just enjoy the moment. The Bible says THIS is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. He also tells us not to worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself. We aren’t promised tomorrow. Let’s stop with the excessive planning, the crazy amount of extracurriculars, the extreme focus on grades. Let’s just love on and enjoy our families today. Life won’t always be perfect and neither will we. We will have low moments and high ones. Arm yourself with the Word of God and trust Him that you’re exactly where you are meant to be. Perhaps you were born for such a time as this.
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